03. Science Patrol, Move Out

I had to take a little liberty with the title of the episode, as in the Japanese version this episode's translated to "Science Special Search Party, Move Out." Science Special Search Party is the actual name of our heroes organization, but the English version that I watch refers to them as Science Patrol. Pointless explanation ending in 5...4...3...2......

Synopsis

Fuji and Hoshino are investigating a well where strange noises have been reported. In true Kenny fashion, Hoshino does something reckless and annoying; he crawls down into the dangerous well, ignoring commands to get out. As he wanders through a cavern system, a gigantic eyeball opens up and immediately moves out of the way, upset by Hoshino's short-shorts no doubt.

Yeah, we're not happy about seeing them either.

The monster digs its way out of the ground, and gets down to some monstery business - in that he starts destroying every power line in sight. "In sight" might be a poor choice of words however, as this guy decided to do this while invisible. Fuji climbs down the well to escape the kaiju and to find Hoshino. The two meet up and look for a way out of the cave. Science Patrol, always eager for an excuse to strip off their clothes, decide they need to go save the pair. Science Patrol arrive at the power station and question the witnesses. The workers claim that the monster is both invisible and was previously at the station stealing electricity. 

He's got a face that says "Now you see why I've been hiding underground."

Neronga, today's baddie, reappears for even more electric mayhem. Arashi dethrones Hayata's "become Ultraman midair" ultimate king of the badasses by observing "(Neronga)'s not invisible right now, here I go!" and charges the beast with his super gun. Arashi, you're one cool cat. Not cool enough to avoid being electrocuted by a giant monster, however, as that exact thing happens. Neronga leaves the scene, happy with his amount of destruction.  Science Patrol ponder a world without electricity as Hoshino and Fuji rejoin them at HQ. Arashi is apparently entirely fine despite his earlier incident, good for him! Hoshino instantly spies the most dangerous thing in the room and rushes over to pick it up. After having a talking to, he decides to steal the gun anyway because of course he does.

"I want to use it against Neronga. Or you. I just want to kill something!"

Everyone converges at the main power station in the city, certain that the monster will make an appearance. The army backs them up, and once the monster is located, tanks open fire upon it. If they ever watched a kaiju film they'd know that military might is never ever enough, and this particular case is no exception. Neronga lays waste to just about anything in sight. Hoshino eventually reappears with the gun and starts blasting the monster with it. When Arashi did this, it was heroic - When Hoshino does this, it's stupid and annoying. He does manage to blast out the creature's eye, so at least there's that. Hayata, for some reason waited for the entire station to get decimated and for a child to be at risk before he runs off to transform into Ultraman. The gang still hasn't figured it out after Hayata goes running off without a word, and Ultraman pops up in that very location.  The two battle, but Ultraman has the upper hand and isn't afraid to show this fact off.

Sup?

The narrator explains that Ultraman basically only has a few minute lifespan to defeat the monster or he'll die because his power drains in Earth's atmosphere. What? Has this been a thing in the previous 2 episodes? I swear I'd remember that.... Okay! Big plot point I just learned. Ultraman can only Ultra-up for a few minutes. Good to know. The fight ends with Ultraman tossing Neronga at the base of a hill and blasting him with his particle beam. Why don't you just lead off with that, bud? It all ends abruptly with "Where were you Hayata? No matter, let's go home."

Afterword

Well, three episodes under my belt and I feel like I can start to gauge the actual quality of the episodes a little. This one didn't feel that great. It was a little too Hoshino-heavy for my tastes, but I'm sure this was geared either toward children or families back in 1960's Japan, so who am I to judge? A whole lot didn't seem to be going on story-wise, and Hayata seemed to wait way too long to hit that Ultra-button. 

Today's monster was Neronga, a quadrupedal (except for when he isn't) kaiju with a lightning horn and a rigged back, and floppy ears. That sounds a little bit like Baragon from over at Toho. ... oh, he actually sounds a lot like Baragon, too. Supposedly this suit is a refurbished Baragon suit? What's with Ultraman borrowing so many things from Toho? I didn't think this would come up so many times in the first few episodes... I need to research this before I do the next episode.  The amount of toys that come out for each of these kaiju is - for some reason - a little heartwarming to me. It's definitely something I'm going to point out in each post. 

That's about all for this one, and I can't wait to see if a new ultimate king of the badasses moment tops Arashi's stunt today!

02. Blast The Invaders

This is real. I'm starting up the second episode... there's no real turning back now, is there? Not for a person like me. Once I start something, I need to finish it. I wonder if I'll be kicking myself in 3 years time as I wade through lord knows what iteration of Ultraman I'll be on by then.

Synopsis

The second episode opens with Science Patrol Funnyman Ito breaking the fourth wall and comments that we noticed the remarkable shiner he's got on his right eye. Ito regales us with the tale of how he got his black eye - an admittedly smaller story scope than superheros from other planets crashing on Earth. I wonder if they'll talk directly to the audience ever again, or if this is just some sort of anomaly? 

Ito, Japan's 40 year pre-emptive answer to Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

On an earlier night, a UFO was reportedly spotted over the city and then traced to the scientific technical center. Science Patrol member Arashi gets his first real screen time as he's sent to investigate. Secretary of Annoying Children Hoshino is along for the ride - he's stowed away in the back seat of Arashi's car, emulating just a tad more Chim Chim than Spritle. Arashi basically tells him to buzz off and stay in the car while he searches the science center.  Immediately he spots the security guard - frozen and green. The work of some unholy union between The Riddler and Mr. Freeze, no doubt. He makes a call for backup and continues looking around, only to be assaulted by a strange lobster-clawed creature.

Yeah, you might hate your job but at least you don't have to deal with things like this.

For his efforts, Arashi gets the green freeze treatment as well. Our monster today has some confusingly displayed ability of self projection, or multiple selves that can morph back into one form? It's not clear. Hayata arrives at the scene at zaps the monster in the face with his little zapper gun. What's that thing called? I better start getting educated on the subject while I'm here... Oh. It's just called the supergun. Alright, then! 

Back at Science Patrol HQ, Ito has decided he's created a language that all outer space creatures will understand. Hey man, that's a little racist. Doesn't he know that even the majority of people on this singular planet speak tons of different languages? Silly,  presumptuous Ito.  Speaking of, it's his turn to get sent into the science center. Seeing as we're only halfway through the episode and Ultraman hasn't shown up yet, I can only assume his plan of talking to the alien doesn't go well.  The monster shows up and performs it's weird multi-projection stunt.

Freakin' out man! I'm freakin' out maaaaaan!

I'm getting sick of saying "the monster" and they haven't named it yet so let's go dig up some more info.  Baltan! There we go. Baltan leads Ito upstairs onto the roof, and begins communicating through a now-possessed Arashi. Hayata shows up and interrogates the alien. It says they came to Earth when their planet, also called Baltan, became uninhabitable thanks to nuclear war. They initially landed to fix their planet, but ultimately decided it was nice enough to live on. Hayata makes a bold claim stating the Baltans can stay as long as they abide by our laws. Baltan volleys back an even more outrageous claim stating that there are 60 billion of them on Earth, and they're all microscopic.  Up next comes the best exchange I've heard in a long, long while.

Hayata: Why don't you go live on Mars? (asked with a slightly hateful tone)

Baltan: None of us like Mars. (delivered straight-faced.)

There's a vague mention of there being a good reason they couldn't stay on Mars, but it's dropped with a "I've said too much already." Baltan is tired with negotiations and supersizes himself and starts terrorizing the tiny humans. Hayata's beta capsule falls from the top of the building onto a ledge a few stories down, in the middle of the building.  Baltan starts tearing the city up, while Cap, Fuji and Hoshino watch from HQ on the monitor. Cap speculates that the aliens can be killed with spacium(?), which is found on Mars(??). 

Oh hell! Hayata does something way cooler than I ever thought I'd see on this show. He leaps off the building, grabs the beta capsule on the way down and becomes Ultraman before he hits the ground. Good lord, if they ever make a big budget Ultraman film they need to put that scene in.  Ultraman and Baltan fly around for a while, getting a couple tackles in every now and again. The time for playing around is over, however, when Ultraman destroys Baltan with his beam. He uses previously unseen eyebeams to unveil the cloaked spaceship in the sky full of the microscopic Baltans. He then grabs the ship and flies off into space, making sure they're somebody elses problem besides Earth.

"Earth's only got room for one illegal alien. Off you go."

Things get wrapped up, and Ito merely jokes about Hayata being Ultraman after jumping off the building and Ultraman showing up in the exact spot he leapt toward. No matter though, we're still waiting to hear how he got his black eye. Drumroll! He fell off the top bunk. That's a wrap, folks!

Afterword

This was a nice change of pace and tone from the first episode. I'm sure all of these are going to follow the Captain Planet mentality (why not just call Captain Planet/Ultraman in at the beginning instead of failing to stop the threat every time on your own?) , but that's come to be expected. I have no issue with that. I'm glad they gave Baltan a villainous reason to be attacked, over Bemular's "he's a monster... so he's gotta die!"

The characters so far all seem likeable and interesting enough to support the time we're not watching giant monsters tearing stuff up, which can be an issue in the longer runtime kaiju films. 22 minutes is a perfect amount to pop out one of these stories without any particular element dragging along.  

Today's monster, Baltan, didn't do a whole lot besides freeze some people and took out a temper tantrum on the city which quickly was thrwarted by Ultraman. He's got a neat design that - god help me I'm going to reference Pokemon here - is reminiscent of pinsir's head and scythers claws. He has a deep pitched, muted laugh that he likes to throw out when things are going his way. This is evidently borrowed from the mushroom people that appeared in Matango - which is a completely bonkers movie that you need to check out if you haven't seen it yet. I thought the laugh sounded familiar but I figured it was just stock sound. His amount of figures seems staggering. It almost makes me want to start collecting these things.

So far, so good! Onto episode #3.

01. Ultra Operation No.1

Ahh, here we go. My very first real, Japanese Ultraman episode. I feel excited and strangely a little nervous, but no matter. Time to dive right in.

The theme song is perfect 60's cheese, right up there with Speed Racer. The base color backgrounds emphasized by various monster silhouettes look fantastic as well. It's all worth checking out. Really, go do it if you haven't seen it already. 

Synopsis

The very first episode of Ultraman opens on two colored orbs in space, one (blue) being pursued by the other (red).  We're told next that there exists in this world something known as the "Science Patrol", and that they indeed patrol the whole world (but probably just Japan, right?) on the lookout for scientific anomalies, I guess. Back then they had less radioactive meltdowns to worry about and just spent their time looking for monsters.

Up first from Science Patrol is Hayata. He's out flying around in his jet when he comes across the two flying orbs which have now entered Earth's atmosphere.  The blue sphere descends into a lake, making a whole lot of commotion while doing so. This disrupts the ebb and flow of a nearby beach/camping party, who's occupants become transfixed on the events to follow.

The red orb, which apparently got lost in it's pursuit of the blue one arrives a few minutes later... and crashes into Hayata on it's way down from space. The rest of Science Patrol is informed of the dual UFO's appearance, and that one of them collided with their ship. They try to reach Hayata but he's not answering. It's decided that the time for action is now! The rest of group remove their clothes (slacks with leg-side zippers!) to reveal their fancy orange outfits underneath.

Style Patrol!

While Science Patrol heads to the scene, Hayata's body is enveloped by the red orb. A voice educates an unconscious Hayata and an unwitting audience (me) that he is Ultraman. He says other things, like he heils from Nebula M78 and that he was chasing a monster named Bemular. Whether or not these are true remain to be seen. He states that since he accidentally ran him over and killed him, he's willing to merge life forces and just live inside him. That's a big commitment to bestow upon a man who's knocked out cold. Finally, he gives Hayata something called a beta capsule, and claims that when he uses it he'll become Ultraman.

Use the beta capsule and you'll become Ultram... are you listening?

Science Patrol ... well, patrols for Hayata among the area of his ship's wreckage. The search goes through the night and into the next day. We meet Fuji, who seems to be Science Patrol's operator. She inquires about Hayata's whereabouts but the Captain says no such luck. Someone enters the room with Fuji and...  oh, man. Ah damn. It's a Kenny. For those unawares, Kennies are little boys in Japanese sci-fi media. The main one that comes to mind is the child from the original Gamera film. Kennies are usually seen wearing unnecessarily short shorts. Anyway, Hoshino is the name of this particular little boy and he's worried about Hamata. The Captain reiterates that they're looking for him still, and not to worry. 

Back at the lake, a big reason to worry starts bubbling up from underneath the lake.  Our first kaiju that - I'm only assuming here - we're going to see Ultraman fight.  This must be Bemular. He's a lanky reptilian with short, dangly arms and a knack for sounding a hell of a lot like Godzilla. (turns out it is infact a modified Godzilla roar.) Science Patrol wastes no time in a moment I really like, where they all whip out their guns and start blasting Bemular from the shore of the lake. You never see many people vs. kaiju action - Attack on Titan notwithstanding. To be perfectly fair to Bemular, he didn't really do anything wrong. He surfaced from the lake and Science Patrol just started blasting away, to which he just submerged once again.  I guess "benefit of the doubt" isn't under scientific jurisdiction.

He's the first kaiju to appear on Ultraman, and he's pleased as punch about it!

Meanwhile, Hayata calls Fuji and lets her know he's alright, and to send the S16 submarine to the lake where the Bemular's hanging out at. She does so, but the rest of Science Patrol doesn't believe that Hayata called her, and even make jokes about her talking to ghosts. So much for believing he's still alive. To make things even better, the guys land on "Even though she's one of us, we shouldn't lose sight of the fact she's a girl and they're very hard to figure out."  Right on cue, Hayata shows up in a speeder boat and heads out to the submarine to attack the monster.  

The next ten minutes or so are a back and forth between Hayata attacking Bemular in the submarine, to the monster surfacing and attacking the Science Patrol in their jet.  Bemular decides enough is enough and drags the submarine out onto the surface, and destroys it with his decidedly Godzillaish beam breath.  Hayata, remembers that he has the power to become a superhero, and probably wonders why he didn't use it way earlier. What happens next is essentially a wrestling match between Ultraman and Bemular. Despite being lakeside, they still manage to crush a few cottages amongst their brawl. The monster tries to escape by fleeing the planet in orb form, but Ultraman isn't having any of that and blasts it away with some sort of hand beam.

At this moment, I'm gleefully unaware of what this thing is called.

Hayata reunites with his crew after the threat is thwarted. For some reason,  Hayata decides to take a turn for the deceitful and lies about the following things:

1. Not knowing the monster was defeated
2. Not explaining to his friends what happened after the crash
3. Not telling his friends that he was and is Ultraman
4. That Ultraman didn't have a name, and fakes thinking up the name "Ultraman"

So this is our hero for this series, huh? I guess it's better than the tried and true boring boy scout type. I know that secret identities are a trope in these Japanese superhero shows so I can't really complain. Still kind of a dick way to go about it though, Hayata.

Afterword

I have a love for this whole genre, so I have to admit that it was very exciting to see the beginning of such a lush and in depth series. The Science Patrol seems like a good idea for centralized characters, as their occupation will lead to plenty of entertaining stories... at least I hope. I find it interesting that there were a few Godzilla-heavy elements in this pilot episode. Bemular's fire breath looks just about identical to Godzilla's, and his roar is definitely borrowed from Toho, being only slightly altered. Also, an alarm goes off in the control room that sounds very similar to one of the sounds Ghidorah makes. I don't know anything about the television business and lawsuits, but my initial thought is they'd want to stray away from biting off of Toho's creations in their establishing episode. 

This Ultraman suit is the roughest I've ever seen it, but that's to be expected in it's debut. I can't wait for the day that it looks nice and sleek and there aren't any slits in his mask for the actor to see out of. That's going to be part of the fun in watching these in order - seeing the suit and special effects get gradually better and better.  

Today's monster was Bemular, a somewhat dopey bipedal horny-toad looking fellow. The actor in the suit had his arms down at his sides at all times, as it ruined the desired appearance of the kaiju's little T-rexy arms. This gives off a humorous look as the arms just kind of dangle about - especially when Ultraman tosses him around. He has a nice array of action figures out there, though at this point I'm unsure of how popular any and all Ultra-kaiju are or if he has a special place in history for breaking Ultraman's battle cherry.

That about wraps it up for my first step on this insane, unnecessary journey. Here's to the last time I can ever say "I've only seen one episode of Ultraman."

A Painstaking Project

Hey guys, Dan here.

I've been a lifelong kaiju fan, growing up on Godzilla movies and just about anything else I could find. I've seen that entire series, as well as the handful of Gamera movies that are out there. I've been able to track down various other kaiju films, but my appetite is far from being satiated. With that in mind, there is one completely untapped source for kaiju goodness, and that's Ultraman. Save for a select number of Ultraman: Towards The Future episodes I was lucky enough to catch on television as an child growing up in the U.S.A., Ultraman is something I'm very unfamiliar with.

The idea came to me after getting my hands on the original series; what if I did a write up of every episode I was about to watch? ... what if I did a write up on every single iteration of Ultraman I could get my hands on? Was it possible to go from somebody with little to no knowledge, to a seasoned veteran? 

Like a mad scientist who's thrown logic, reason and ethics out the window in the name of their impossible feat, I find myself rushing forward with only the thought "Can it be done?!"  I suppose that remains to be seen. If nothing else, I'm hoping to provide a unique look on a beloved series that I ultimately know nothing about and maybe provide a chuckle or two.